His Weakest Moment
by Anybodys
Summary: What was Han thinking in his weakest moment: the carbon freeze?  Set during ESP, dur hur hur.


**~A/N~: This took me FOREVER to write. Like over two weeks. It's about Han's carbon freeze. You know, for a person who hates that scene I sure write an awful lot about it. He and Leia are just so darn adorable though. :3 Anyways, I'm very sorry if it's cheesy and confusing, but it's the best I can do since my stupid writer depression thing.**

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><p>Just an hour or two ago they had been led down the hallways, marveling at Cloud City. It was a nice reunion, but he should have listened to her; now, they were sitting on the bench, staring in opposite directions silently.<p>

Chewbacca growled sadly in the corner. His face was numb from the torture, but this heart was heavy. His eyes glanced over to her, sitting next to him; a thousand lightsabers stabbed through him. What was going to happen? Was he going to have to leave or let her go? His head swam at the thought.

Her face shifted to his, and for a moment, they just stared at each other, his reflection in her puffy, red eyes. A tear seeped down as they looked away. "I told myself I wasn't going to cry," she started with a faint smile on her lips, "but I guess I couldn't keep to it." The smile vanished.

"I should've listened to you," he responded, echoing the thought that bounced around his head. "But I really thought Lando could be trusted." Sighing, he continued, "Well, sweetheart, sorry I brought you into this. Here's my big mistake you've been waiting for."

After a short pause, she said, "It seems like such a long time ago when you and I were fighting over a silly thing—a kiss, right?"

Han gave a small, lopsided grin. "You could still use one."

Leia gave a weak attempt at a smile back. "It'd rather kiss a Wookie," she said half-heartedly.

Chewbacca gave a questioning noise. Han jerked his head over to him. "Sorry, Chewie. We're not talking about you." He slowly turned back to Leia. Staring at each other again, both seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Let's go." He lifted his head up to see two Stormtroopers and two squat aliens. His stomach dropping, the trio headed out of the cell and through the stunning hallways that had captured their minds what seemed like forever ago.

Soon enough, they entered a room dimly lit by an eerie red glow; a strange contraption was in the middle, and fear filled him at the uncertainty of the purpose of the machine.

He wanted to turn to Leia, to reassure her that everything was going to be okay when he wasn't feeling that brave himself. "What's going on, _buddy_?" he hissed at Lando.

"They're putting you into carbon freeze." The blood drained from his body, his throat to dry to speak. One word flashed across his mind: _Leia_. What would happen to her… especially if he died? Would they hurt her, or kill her as well? He couldn't bear to think of it.

Words from the bounty hunter and Lord Vader drifted to their ears. _What if he dies? He's worth a lot to me. _Instantly he jerked his head over to Leia, only to find her staring back at him. Something passed between the two; whether it was just mortal fear, or some type of message he couldn't quite pick out, it wouldn't really matter because something was going to happen to him. The suspense of the fate tore him up inside. He wasn't worried about himself; no, he _knew _he was a money-loving pirate, a no-good rebel, a bull-headed jerk… _a scoundrel_. His heart rose to his throat, and he tried not to look at her in fear of bursting into tears if he saw her face full of apprehensiveness, but at the same time he needed to see her. He didn't know how many times he could see the angelic face again.

A thousand things rang through his head. All their arguments… how come they didn't just ever have time together instead of debating whether or not Leia liked him in a romantic way?

_Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf-herder!_

He desperately tried to smile at that, but he couldn't, although he was still one hundred percent certain he was the sexiest man to ever exist. But even with that thought, he remembered it was that—his arrogance that prevented them from ever being together in some for of relationship. Would she even like him, though, if he wasn't arrogant? Would he still be her—well, supposed—man that she was deeply in love with, or just another nice, passing man?

But why does it even matter? he thought. Everything that happened will be forevermore. Besides, this just might be the last time he'll ever be able to see or talk or walk or fly—

There was a clatter of armor following a roar of angst. Han flipped around to see Chewie slamming Stormtroopers away from them. "Stop, Chewie, stop!" he wailed, running over to his Wookie friend.

A stream of words came out of his mouth, not necessarily comforting, but Han didn't even comprehend what he was saying, except for one sentence. _You have to keep the Princess safe. _His throat felt tight as he finished his—what would it be called? A lecture? A grim pep talk?—_spiel _(he guessed), Chewie staring down at him with fear, sadness, and uncertainty in his green eyes, as if he were reflecting everybody's feelings.

All too soon, it was time for him to be put into carbon freeze. His heart beat quickly in his chest as he tried his best to not show his anxiety or fear of what was going to happen afterward.

Yet again, brilliant yet soft brown eyes flashed before him. Everything felt as if time had stopped, that silence drowned out the sound of his thoughts and feeling screaming in his head, his heart roaring in his ears; all he could see and focus on was the woman in front of him, the most beautiful thing in the entire galaxy. Now he wasn't sure if his heart was beating quickly because of the situation or not—wait, what was going to happen? Why was everybody looking so solemn, so worried?

The she came, looking concerned like everybody else—why was she staring at him like that?—and her soft, delicate lips were on his, just like they were an eternity ago.

It was just them, the only people in the galaxy. It didn't ever occur to him that somewhere, a life was made and a life was lost, nor that he still hadn't seen Luke since he went into battle. All that really mattered was that she wanted to be with him right now, that she felt love for him—

Doubt started to creep into his body. What if her kiss was only out of the worry that he had seen on her face earlier? If he lived—_if, _what an awful word—would she still do this to him? If—there it was again—so, would it be with the same passion? That's a stupid though, he told himself. If you love somebody, you don't just kiss them, but don't make assumptions—

Hard hands jerked on his shoulders, yanking him away from her. His eyes snapped open as the reality of the situation crashed around him. He strained his neck, trying to get to her, but it was no use.

They shoved him onto the platform and untied his hands. It was suddenly hard to breathe as he tore his gaze away from Leia to look at the creatures freeing his wrists. If he would look up it would pain him to see her so worked up, but at the same time it would kill him even more to not see her before what happened to him.

"I love you." The words hit him and dug under his skin in a way that hurt and relieved him at the same time. So she _did _love him? She wasn't just saying that? His heart fluttered at the thought of being with her but suddenly hurt when he remembered what was happening.

Feeling dizzy, he spoke the first words on his mind: "I know."

Stupid, arrogant idiot, he scolded himself, but it was too late. As he was lowered into the icy blast, he realized on thing.

He loved her more than he could ever imagine, and the man named Han Solo could imagine quite a bit.


End file.
